Humanity & Hospitality - Are they for real?

Its been some times since I last blogged and the reason was simply because there was nothing special happening in my life and I was traveling a lot, first it was to my home town, Pollachi, a small town on the border of Tamilnadu and Kerala, surrounded by hill stations like Nilgiris (Ooty) and Kodaikanal & Vaalpaarai & Topslip. For people from Tamilnadu, all these hill stations might sound very familiar, thanks to thousands of movies shot in and around Pollachi from the black & white era to 3D now.

Anyways, apart from that, I had been to other places like T.N's cotton city Coimbatore and Sounth India's Textile city, Tirupur too. And, this trip left me thinking what kind of a life we lead these days and what are we running behind, in terms of money/success/power etc... The basic human emotions and feelings totally lack in the city life so much that people do not even realize the presence or absence of a neighbor. It simply doesn't make any sense to them at all. I am not blaming any one here, but, even I too have failed to notice if some one around me is actually there or not. And, why we are like this?

Is the so called society stop us from being humane?To interfere in others' lives and check them out? In my home town, I have seen people interfering and convincing two guys fighting with each other, be it a family affair or a civil affair.I had so far thought that its absolutely normal to do something like that, stopping two guys, who are complete strangers to you, from fighting with each other. But, once I shifted to Chennai, that part of me is gone long back. If you ask me now, if I ever will do such a thing, I will see you as crazy.(not me) True. So much to the Society and Sophistication.

However, i still see these gestures among people from lower class and if this categorization of people being termed as lower, middle or upper is based purely on their financial capacity, then I wouldn't agree that to be a standard against which they can be categorized. As for me, people have no classification or categorization.Because, Men and Women are equal. White and Black are Equal. What else can differentiate one from another?Money?No way...........What did Elvis Presley or Steve Jobs or even Shankar, our maidservant's husband who died last week, took with them while going?

Of all the virtues, I consider the human tendency of sharing your life and thoughts with others, showing emotions towards fellow humans as the greatest. End of the day, we don't take anything with us when we go, but only the memories and thoughts of our friends and family and remember, their memories are the only place where we live even after we are gone. This is just a request to all to actually poke your nose in to others' lives (of course not too much to get your nose cut off) and see not what they are doing but how are they doing in life.

Believe me, your life will change forever for good and for better. An honest question of how are you doing or why are you looking dull to your neighbor will change you in so many ways and who knows you might get a BFF for the rest of your life....True right?

Open your Ears...........

I recently had met a guy and had a conversation for more than an hour. In fact, I wouldn't call it a conversation, because he was the only one doing the talk. Of course it was not a public meeting or anything in that case. It was a casual first meet and already i have decided not to talk to him any more.

Reason:He just dint have time to let me talk. There are people like this guy and i think these guys lack the basic knowledge of conversational ethics. And, i was wondering how he will maintain his personal relationship with his mom/dad/Girlfriend like this (I don't think any girl friend would have lasted for more than a day with this guy) ... And, i think the basic reason for most of our problems is this attitude:Not Listening........

At home, we don't have time to sit and talk to our parents, (btw, how many people live with their parents after marriage?) and no time for wife or husband, simply because the other party is always busy. And, absolutely no time for our children, because we talk to our children only when there is an issue or if there is any commercial demand from them that might cause you financial damage.

At work, the question of listening or not listening doesn't arise at all, as we are all engaged and immersed in our own world where everyone barge in starting from office peon to CEO without your permission, and yet you don't care about it.....And, most of us don't carry this office baggage to home so, official problem never carry much weight in our lives. But, personal problem are something different.

They have a different effect and a deep impact altogether and all of us tend to think about such personal problem over and over in our mind and the surprising part is every time you think of the problem either you will get more upset or will come up a different solution.

And, when you just sit back and think of what might have gone wrong, it all starts with not listening to or to be more precise, not having a simple communication of asking: "How was your day?What do you say about it?How are you now?" Thats it...simple

For people like me, who always try to do some analysis when ever a problem or an incident happens, out of context or normalcy, they will understand how important is to examine your life, your relationships every now and then...just like how you check your vehicle regularly to make sure you don't end up with a sudden breakdown.

I think like this: God has purposely left the ears open unlike eyes, which you can always shut, when ever you want and the purpose could be human being is being insisted by the almighty to listen to your heart, to your relationships, to people around you, to the society you belong to and to the country you live in....

 

So, just Open Your Ears and LISTEN friends.................. (Just like him :) (her?)no idea....sorry....

Contd: The Day I met Raja sir...

Hi,

I forgot to post the photograph i took with Raja sir and some of my friends were asking me for that. So, here we go guys.....Rehana with Raja sir. (And, hey this is his house and for those who have been there will know....)

Thank you Raja sir...for being with me in my Ups and Lows in the form of music.......

How young are you?

Tell me one thing, who decides the age limit to be young or to become old? I don't understand. I am 30 and does that make it necessary that you have stopped being young and now you are old...Oh..come on now, what non sense is this?

True to being a Gemini, I have always found two different sides of myself on so many occasions and that being as young as I can be at heart and behaving very matured when needed. And, I find this absolutely easy and happy to do so. Feeling young at heart gives me more courage and confidence to take risks and venture new things and my other side gives me enough of advises to go through slowly and safely. So, whats wrong in being young?

When most of the women or a men becomes successful only after 30, people here think that reaching 30 is your threshold limit and you have to just pack your baggage and move to the next compartment.No,you dont have to...For me, 30 is the age for you to explore many new things more confidently and happily, because most of the people you talk to and move with would be younger than you and it gives you more authority and a credibility you can easily move among.

When one of my friends, who is divorced after a very short commercial marriage (the marriage was arranged purely for business purpose, her dad wanted to start a business in US and he got a prospective guy (read:Managing Director) to marry his daughter, my friend. And she completed her mandatory one year and came back to India and got her divorce). And, the interesting part is now she is dating a guy who is much younger than her and almost all of our friends got excited at the news simply because her boyfriend is younger than her. When we all sat and analyzed why we girls got so excited at the news, we realized everyone wants to be young always and have young partners who can also stay young always....(Too much to ask isn't it?)

Anyways, its totally up to you to decide how you want yourself to be....Young or old or whatever...But, just remember one thing, getting younger with time is always a better option. And by now, you would have thought, why am I writing such post today? There is a flash back not so long, but cut to this morning: I was waiting for the lift in my apartment to go down, when this 14 year old boy, studying 7th standard, living opposite to my flat, came and simply asked,"Aunty, are you going down?"....Thats was it...That was enough for me to get upset for the whole day...may be for a whole week...I wanted to reply him,"I am going old"....hhrrrrr.............


 Chalo, abhi, what else he could call me....Akka?(Sister) obviously he cant, because, we are 16 yrs apart and cant call me by name, because we are not used to that name calling system yet. Now, I seriously wish I had stayed in UK for ever because I never heard any one calling anybody as Aunty....Mrs.Khan or Mrs.Rehana would have been nice and a good starter for the day and its sad that boy didn't know he would cause such a blog today.

So, the final conclusion is: Hello all, Please don't let your children above 15(14) to call people like us as Aunty/Uncle...Okay? Teach them to call  with some manners, Mr.Sharma or Varma and Mrs. Sharma or Varma....ok?I promise I will never let my 1.5 yr old daughter to call you as Aunty or Uncle...Hope you guys understand what I mean.........


(P.S: How can he call me like that yaar?:(  How young am I?shit, I am confused now.....)

Many Names;but just one Meaning: It's Self Respect

I had actually posted my one year old daughter's picture in which she was wearing a hijab (headscarf) and i got amazed with responses or rather questions from my friends. Of course it was a mix of positive and negative views on making my daughter wear that. Most repeated question was when you have never posted your picture wearing a burqa, why did you dress up your daughter like that.....True, I have never posted my picture in burqa, but, those who know me very well and see me regularly, know that, I wear burqa to my office every day and where ever i go, It's just that i have never posted, or in that case, i don't remember when was the last time I stood for a photograph. And, it seems like my daughter is the only person, who gets to get photographed by my husband every day almost, at least with a mobile phone. So, i will definitely post my picture too in burqa, but, i dont know when....

So, coming back to my friends' questions and responses, everyone was asking me the same: why do you want to do this to Sarah?she is only a child and why cant she wear it after marriage? So, to all of you, for the record, I don't intend to make her wear it now...but, once she is 6/7 year old, she will wear it and I am definitely going to encourage her wearing it.

There are so many reasons for me to take such a decision at a time of when child abuses are in the rise in the country and where sexual preferences of people are becoming more public and open for discussion. Don't think me as very conservative or religious freak, but, just sit and think what is happening in the country.

Wearing burqa gives me self confidence more than i have ever felt when i was not wearing burqa before.And, more importantly, it gives me self respect and an identity that I am girl and no one will ever dare to tease or criticize me or my anatomy. And, I get so much of a sense of freedom that i have completely stopped worrying how my dress looks, and how do i look like in it and is there something exposed and what do i have to cover up in it and am i walking properly in this outfit etc etc etc..there are millions of questions and I am sure every girl will understand what am I talking about. And, everything just vanished like magic with just one dress:Burqa...

You go to meeting an important client or to a conference or anything and all you have to prepare is about what do you gonna talk there, not about your lip shade matching with your dress color or the sandal matching it. nothing...For me, its a boon, its a bliss....the passion on buying dresses from latest fashion line and everything else seem to be a stone age custom to me now.

Leave off such things, if you are not a fashionista, and just think what a sense of freedom and protection it gives. I am not advocating here for everyone to wear it, because that would be so foolish of me, but, i am trying to make some clarification to all those who think burqa is a forced curse on Islamic women. NO. I don't think so.

For children, they get a deeper self acknowledgement of their sex as female and they preserve every tiny little element of femininity in them, that they will never have a confusion over their sexual preferences when they grow up. And, for those, who think burqa poses only restriction and slavery on girls, let me make it straight: Girls wearing burqa are in schools, colleges, offices, governments and we are there where ever you are.

And, as far as those women doing foul play over not removing their veils and hijabs for security checks, they can always remove it to a woman police officer or any other woman authority in such a situation and I am sure every modern country in this world have women police officers and why can't they just let their women police force to do such security checks? The women are anyways meant to be handled by women police force even legally and why can't this be followed to avoid unnecessary issues like banning the burqa?

Not just for me, but every burqa clad woman, its just not a dress; its self confidence, self respect and identity.

The day I met The Maestro...........Raja Sir.......

Its going to be some time, even quite a few years, say 2 or 3 years now. Yet, that day, that evening is still fresh in my memories and I can still replay it in my mind.

It was October and we were given an appointment at 5pm at his Studio. Our CEO, my husband and I were little nervous and had already reached the nearby hotel an hour earlier. And, just as predicted, it started raining and we were asked to come at 6 by his manager. Another hour just went by leaving our CEO and my husband relaxed for a while and making me more and more nervous for I had my doubts of whether would meet him or not. And, I was self assuring repeatedly within myself.

It was 6 and his manager called us and informed us to come to his residence, because Raja sir had already left the studio due to heavy rain. I became even more nervous, "will he cancel at the last minute saying, he wouldn't meet anyone at home...?".And, all the while I conveniently forgot that our CEO and my husband was there to meet him to get his consent for conferring him a honorary doctorate for his outstanding contribution to the field of music by an foreign university and I happen to be handling their operations in India. I had forgotten my career profile and was jumping like a 7 yr old kid, coming to an Amusement park for the first time.

"Will he accept?"- It was my CEO. I just came back to reality and tried hard not to show my excitement and brought a cute diplomat smile on my face and said, "I think yes". and, much to my dismay,"I heard myself saying"Who Cares?"....OMG...how can i be so irresponsible like this....

We were on the way to his home and all I could think of was how he will talk, and whether he will talk to me or just to my CEO and ignore my presence.....After all, why should he care? I was completely silent and didnt realize when we reached his residence for two reasons, one being i never knew before where he lived and the minute my husband asked me to get down, I could feel my heart beat racing like an F1.

We just entered and some how I gathered the courage to ask my husband is his camera ready. Because after all these thinking of will he talk to me or not and all, what I concluded was whether or not he talks to me, I should get a photograph with him at the least.

So, when we went in, Raja sir came out from the room, what seemed to be a study room and sat on the couch, asking us to sit. I think, our CEO must have guessed on my madness on meeting him, as he could apparently see how am I behaving so insanely and childish...So, he simply showed me the seat next to Raja sir and sat next to me. I gave him a thanking smile and sat near Raja sir completely blank and silent. It was my husband that started the conversation, giving him the introductions and all the required details of the purpose of the meeting. He carefully listened to him and simply said, "I am not a public person as how you think, I am very remote and aloof. I just think of music for the whole day, whether or not I am doing any project."

I first thought, he is giving a small speech and at the end he is going to say OK. He continued saying a lot of things about how he takes Music what is music to him and all.. our CEO interrupted him saying, whatever you are saying now is all the reason why we wanted to honor your contribution. Raja sir went silent for a minute and I was like, why did he interrupt raja sir now...he should have let him speak so I could have heard him for some more time.....

Raja sir, suddenly looked at me and asked "have you heard of my songs?" thinking that I must be living in US since I was working for a US university. I went blank once again at his question and blinked like a kid when asked what is Einstein's Adiabatic Theory?. Then the next second, I just blushed and said " I grew up with your music and now, I am living it.". And, he gave me an approving nod and a smile. He just turned to our CEO and said, this is all I had earned all these years, a whole new generation of youngsters like her, still listening and enjoying my music.And, this is all enough for me. People like you, a Foreign university conferring a doctorate will be a great honor for me, but I would suggest you to look for other people who had gone unnoticed and do this honor to them, that would really help them." And, with that he finished the meeting and offered us some juice.

 He then noticed the camera in my husband's hands and graciously asked our CEO to come closer for the photos and I joined them, but still having the urge to take a separate photo of just him and I. I think he must have sensed that. And, he asked me to come and stand next to him and I should thank my husband for taking that photograph so nicely and of course giving me that wonderful opportunity to meet him.I always feel great, happy and privileged to have met him, spent some 20 minutes with him.

I still think of as."why did he not accept such an honor and only one possible answer comes to my mind, that "Only Raja sir could say such a thing"....

Just happened to see someone tweeting that "the 'i' in my iPad stands for Ilayaraja"...and thought how true it is...I would say, for me, Ilayaraja is the music......

Watched the Tamil movie "Avan - Ivan"

Ok, For the records, I am a huge fan of national Award winning director Mr.Bala. I still can't seem to get out of "Pithamagan" "Sethu' & "Nandha".

Yesterday, I watched "Avan-Ivan", after reading a lot of online reviews and other channel reviews.The simple reason because, all i get is just one day, as my off and that Sunday is again my only full day I get to spend with my 1.3 year old daughter, so I would never want to waste my day in movies at all. But, then Bala and his movies are always an exception. (I still dint watch hislast movie "Naan kadavul" because I was duly requested/warned/advised not to watch it by my friends/well wishers. So, i dint and I still wonder what might be the reason!!!)

Anyways, I went and watched the movie 'Avan-Ivan' because, almost all of the review sources said, Bala is back in form, once again giving his best which is fusing comedy and emotional quotient with human values, so touchingly and so emotionally.  I was happy that I am going to watch something on the likes of Nandha or Sethu.

But, After watching the movie, or should I say, even while watching the movie, I couldn't help, but find the striking similarity between "Pithamagan" and 'Avan-Ivan". The outline is same, two carefree young guys, living life on their own terms. The premises are same, Poor, Petit theives, love interest. An illegal profession they cross their path with, A Ganja farm in Pithamagan and a cattle business here. A very emotional death just before the climax - Surya there and G.M.Kumar here and then a gory climax.

Finished. But, you know what, I just cant find the emotional quotient here in 'Avan-Ivan" as how i felt so involved in 'Pithamagan", though Pithamagan was set on a highly unrelated premises to a common man.(How many times you come across people like Vikram in your real life?) I was trying my best to laugh out when ever Arya or that small boy (in a huge pack n a loud mouth) were doing comedy. But, Alas...I just can't. I still can remember Surya's entrepreneurial achievements in Pithamagan, be it legiyam sales or the mobile auction in the train.

Coming to the romantic side of the movie, my god, what's wrong with Bala sir? Are those two girls so dumb n stupid n silly enough to fall in love with our heroes for no reason at all? Or, is it just because, they are our heroes and no matter what or whoever these girls are, should fall in love with them? The so casual and natural love that was there between the mean yet good natured Surya and the so innocent Laila was like a dream to enjoy.

Music: Don't know. Sorry. No idea. and, you know how was it in Pithamagan. 'Elankaathu Veesudhe" was, is still my ringtone.
G.M.Kumar - Poor guy, running naked around at this age, just for the reason, he believes, Bala will do wonder. R.K - Once again, given a promise of break through and probably asked to grow beard and hair for 3-5 months, believing Bala will justify this hairy (scary) process. Arya - He does what he is to. simple. Vishal - All the pain of making a squint eye and emoting so well and yet making us so uneasy because of poor characterization, with no purpose.(May be he will get a National Award) Surya cameo - beep.beep.beep(just like BHTB)

I was running out of time waiting for something to happen, some place for the story to begin, some seriousness to show and it was the last 30 minutes the story took off and it was already too late for me to make myself serious or emotional to mourn for G.M.Kumar;s death. I was completely blank, felt numb and more irritated at his death  blaming myself for not able to get into it.

And, I am not gonna write how was Surya's murder in Pithamagan, because, even now, if I happen to watch it on TV, I feel very sad and gets silent till he is cremated in the movie. Anyways, that was a time.....

I have never criticized any movie before, for I don't actually spend any time on it. Just wait till some channel telecasts it. And, which is why I had to shed my anger out here doing a review.

But, as I said before, Bala is always an exception. And, will wait for the master maker to really do some magic next time.